What do you do if you think a date is going badly? You probably first have to decide if it's going badly because of something you're doing or saying or if it's something he's doing or saying.
If it's you, you can attempt to rectify things. If you're talking too much you can try to calm yourself down, breath a little, and think of a question to ask your date and then allow him or her to talk without interrupting. If you're looking like you're not interested, look interested. Stop looking past your date's face as he or she talks and make some eye contact. That can be hard if you're a little shy and this is a first date. But just do it! Your date will think you're not interested if you appear to be paying no attention to what they're saying.
Turn your cell phone off. You're just being rude if you're answering your phone or texting. Are you starting conversations about controversial topics or topics that are so boring that your date couldn't possibly be interested? Nobody except your best teacher friends want to know about what papers you graded and what your students got on them. No first date wants to hear about your menstrual cramps or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Maybe you're a left wing liberal. That's all well and good but not on the first date.
In other words, if the first date is going down the tubes and it's your fault, try to rein yourself in and turn things around. Now if the date is going badly and it's your date's fault, that's another story.
Be a little considerate. If you think he's a little shy you might want to try to draw him or him into conversation about things in which he's interested, once you figure out what those things are. If he starts talking about something that's controversial to you, and you like him well enough to overlook it, change the subject.
Sometimes, though, there isn't much you can do. Some people like to have an "emergency caller." If you're going this route, don't turn your phone off until you're sure you're happy and safe on your date. An emergency caller is someone who will call a half an hour or so after the start of your date. Maybe it's your mom, sister or best friend. When you answer the phone you can say something that let's your date know that you have to leave right away. This really isn't the nicest thing to do and should only be used when you're a little afraid of your date because he's odd or threatening or you're so annoyed that you might become odd or threatening!
If the date has just totally gone south, and there's no getting around it, just try to wait it out. When your date calls to ask for another date (should that happen – and it might), thank him or her and say that you didn't feel like you had anything in common.
If it's you, you can attempt to rectify things. If you're talking too much you can try to calm yourself down, breath a little, and think of a question to ask your date and then allow him or her to talk without interrupting. If you're looking like you're not interested, look interested. Stop looking past your date's face as he or she talks and make some eye contact. That can be hard if you're a little shy and this is a first date. But just do it! Your date will think you're not interested if you appear to be paying no attention to what they're saying.
Turn your cell phone off. You're just being rude if you're answering your phone or texting. Are you starting conversations about controversial topics or topics that are so boring that your date couldn't possibly be interested? Nobody except your best teacher friends want to know about what papers you graded and what your students got on them. No first date wants to hear about your menstrual cramps or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Maybe you're a left wing liberal. That's all well and good but not on the first date.
In other words, if the first date is going down the tubes and it's your fault, try to rein yourself in and turn things around. Now if the date is going badly and it's your date's fault, that's another story.
Be a little considerate. If you think he's a little shy you might want to try to draw him or him into conversation about things in which he's interested, once you figure out what those things are. If he starts talking about something that's controversial to you, and you like him well enough to overlook it, change the subject.
Sometimes, though, there isn't much you can do. Some people like to have an "emergency caller." If you're going this route, don't turn your phone off until you're sure you're happy and safe on your date. An emergency caller is someone who will call a half an hour or so after the start of your date. Maybe it's your mom, sister or best friend. When you answer the phone you can say something that let's your date know that you have to leave right away. This really isn't the nicest thing to do and should only be used when you're a little afraid of your date because he's odd or threatening or you're so annoyed that you might become odd or threatening!
If the date has just totally gone south, and there's no getting around it, just try to wait it out. When your date calls to ask for another date (should that happen – and it might), thank him or her and say that you didn't feel like you had anything in common.
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